


Shirt On

by Rammboy



Series: Rammstein One Shots [4]
Category: Rammstein
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Body Dysphoria, Comfort, Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dysphoria, Established Relationship, Fear, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gender Dysphoria, Homosexuality, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Shirtless, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Paul Landers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:21:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23864434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rammboy/pseuds/Rammboy
Summary: Paul stays the night at Flake's home. They have to share the bed, which wouldn't be a problem, if Paul could sleep with a binded chest.
Relationships: Paul Landers/Christian Lorenz
Series: Rammstein One Shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718212
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	Shirt On

**Author's Note:**

> Little Paul/Flake setting in the Feeling B era with Trans!Paul  
> Hope you'll like it:)

_1983_

“Hey Paulchen, wanna come at mine tonight?” Flake asked the guitarist as they were packing their stuff since they finished the rehearsal, “It’ll be easier to practice,” he added. Paul was frozen on his spot; he couldn’t. Not with his chest. He shook his head with a sad smile.

“Sorry I can’t… My… My parents need me for something,” he lied and Flake chuckled.

“You told me they were on a trip, remember?” The keyboard played had an excellent memory and Paul was bad liar. Paul sighed, knowing he wouldn’t escape this.

“Alright alright… Where’s Aljoscha by the way?” He asked, since he wasn’t here with them.

“He went home already, but that’s not the question, let’s go,” Flake said and sat up. Paul followed him, really anxious. He couldn’t sleep with his bandages wrapped around his chest, it would hurt too much. And he couldn’t let Flake know about that, he would freak out and maybe worst, tell everyone. It was already difficult to lie each time they had to be shirtless because it was hot or when he went into a cubicle instead of using an urinal. Paul sighed; it was going to be hard, “Are you okay?” Flake asked, turning toward Paul. The guitarist snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at his friend.

“Y-Yeah,” he answered and they kept walking. Flake didn’t seem convinced but didn’t push Paul further. They entered into Flake’s house, his parents were here.

“Oh hello Paul, how are you,” Flake’s mother asked. Paul smiled shyly.

“I’m good thank you,” he quickly answered before following Flake into his bedroom.

“So, what do you want to do? We can play some games or maybe practice a little if you want?” Flake asked as he sat on his bed. Paul stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do. He was usually the most outgoing one, but the situation made him really uncomfortable. He really hoped he could find something; maybe Flake had a guest room so he could sleep alone.

“Uh… I don’t know… Uh, where will I sleep tonight?” He asked.

“In my bed, we’ll share, if you don’t mind,” Of course Paul minded, but he didn’t say it. The boys were actually together, but really shy. They didn’t kiss yet, they just hugged and cuddled. Paul fake smiled.

“I don’t mind,” he lied through his teeth. He was definitely fucked. He was supposed to be the strong one here but he clearly wasn’t. Flake smiled back.

“How about we cuddle until dinner?” Flake offered. That was convenient. Paul nodded and sat next to his boyfriend, letting him wrap his arms around him. They were now sat against the wall, their legs tangled together, “I love you,” Flake said, playing with Paul’s blond hair.

“I love you too,” the guitarist answered, leaving a kiss on Flake’s cheek. The teenagers were now both blushing like mad, still holding each other.

“Maybe it’s too soon but… Can I kiss you?” Flake asked, looking down, visibly embarrassed by the question. Paul smiled and put his head on his boyfriend’s cheek, tilting his head so it was facing him.

“Of course you can,” he said and Flake smiled back. The keyboardist leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss on Paul’s soft lips. His lips were like girls’; so soft and amazing to kiss. Paul happily kissed back, forgetting about his previous worries. His heart was beating so fast, from all the love he had for the younger boy. He knew he loved him really much. Their lips still sealed, he stroked Flake’s cheeks with his thumbs; they were really soft.

“Boys dinner is ready!” A voice called from downstairs. The boys pulled away, smiling at each other.

“Let’s go, my mom hates when I’m late for dinner,” the younger boy chuckled and Paul did too. They climbed downstairs and joined Flake’s family at the dining table.

“So, how’s the band doing?” Flake’s father asked Paul. The boy smiled.

“It’s doing good, we’re practicing for our first festival coming next month,” Paul answered and the man nodded.

“Oh well we’re going to be here then,” he looked at his wife and Flake’s brothers, who all nodded. The dinner was cool, very friendly. Paul was really happy that he passed very well, he worked hard his passing since he came out to his parents. They always suspected something, that their little girl was different. Paul was on T since he was 14, so he was quite muscular, had a little beard forming and his voice a deeper than before. The only problem remaining was his chest and well… What he had between his legs. That wasn’t his main problem though, the worst was his chest, because he couldn’t be shirtless in front of his band mates and friends. His dysphoria was strong, he could have attacks and cry his soul out because of his body. He had to stay strong for tonight, if Flake was going to be shirtless or other, he had to control this. That made him anxious, and he had to hide it from the others.

“Let’s practice yeah?” Flake said, cutting Paul in his internal panic. The older boy nodded and followed his boyfriend in his bedroom. He pulled out his guitar from its case and sat on the bed, next to Flake who had his little keyboard on his laps. Fortunately, Flake had a little amp so Paul could plug his guitar on it and play. They practiced for about one hour, until they felt tired. That was the moment that Paul feared. They would share a bed, but Paul had to keep his t-shirt on. His chest was beginning to ach, he knew he had to remove his binding but he couldn’t. He sat next to Flake, who had removed his shirt. Paul blushed as he saw his boyfriend’s naked chest. He was lucky. Paul looked down at his own chest, which was aching because of the pressure, “Are you okay?” Flake asked, worried. Paul quickly looked up and him and put on a fake smile.

“Y-Yeah, I am,” he answered. Flake was still worried though.

“Why don’t you sleep shirtless? It’s really hot in there you’re going to burn,” he asked, jokingly. Paul forced himself to laugh, hiding the incoming dysphoric break down. He looked away, feeling tears in his eyes. Of course he would sleep without a shirt on if he could, but no, he was stuck with bandages that were killing him. He should be used to that, but no, he wasn’t. He sniffed and wiped his tears away, hoping that Flake wouldn’t notice, “What’s wrong Paul really? I know you’re not okay,” Flake said and Paul rolled his eyes. Of course he would notice they were only ten centimeters apart. Paul sighed. That was it, he had to tell Flake about… This.

“I-I’m okay… It’s just that… Seeing you without a shirt on…” He trailed off, looking away. His chest was so aching, tears of pain burnt in his eyes. He just wanted to rip these pieces of tissue apart. Flake was confused.

“What do you mean? Why does it make you sad?” Flake asked, stroking Paul’s visible cheek with his fingers. Paul sighed again. He was panicking. He really hoped that Flake wouldn’t kick him out and hate him forever.

“Y-You noticed that… I was never shirtless… With you, or anyone?” He began slowly, not wanting to blurt the thing out. He slightly turned his head to see Flake nod.

“Yeah I saw… I don’t get why you don’t, your body is great,” He visibly didn’t have a clue.

“That’s because I can’t… I have something that… You all don’t have,” he explained vaguely. Flake was so confused.

“I don’t get it. I’m so sorry Paulchen I can’t manage to know why you can’t be shirtless in front of me or the others,” Flake was desperate. He wanted to help Paul, but he didn’t know how. He felt helpless and useless. Paul smiled slightly before pecking his lips.

“I’ll tell you why,” the older boy looked down, “Just… Don’t hate me for this, don’t think less of me and all… I’m begging you,” he looked up at Flake with pleading eyes. The keyboardist knew it was really serious; Paul had never been like that before. He nodded.

“I promise you Paulchen,” he simply answered. Paul sighed and removed his shirt, wincing and hissing because of the pain. That hurt so much. Lifting his arms and all. His chest needed rest. He put his shirt on his lap and stared at it, not daring to look at Flake. The younger boy was staring at Paul’s chest. Why was it all bandaged up? Did he hurt himself? “W-What happened?” Flake asked, “Did you injure yourself? Does it hurt?” He really wanted to help his boyfriend through his struggle. Paul looked up at Flake, tears in his eyes.

“I didn’t injure myself don’t worry. But it hurts so much…” He sighed, “I-I have to remove them but… I-I can’t… You’ll see…” He cut himself off. He didn’t want to say _this_ word. Flake seemed angry.

“I saw you when you undressed yourself, you were in pain… You’re hurting; please remove them I don’t care about what I’ll see. It can be horrible scars I don’t care, I want you to be okay Paulchen,” Flake was panicking. Paul looked down.

“I don’t have scars… I have… Something else… That you mustn’t see,” Paul knew he had to show him. He was hurting too much, and Paul knew how to take care of that.

“Please… Don’t you trust me…? I can heal you, I have something. You’re hurting please…” Flake was now pleading.

“Don’t hate me for this,” he said again as he began to remove his bandages. It hurt so much. He was gasping and wincing as he unrolled the tape. Tears of pain were streaming down his cheeks. He heard Flake gasp when the entire bandage was gone from his chest. That crushed Paul. He brought his knees to his chest to hide it.

“Paul you’re… You’re…” Flake didn’t have the words, “Y-You’re a girl…” He said and Paul felt a pang of hurt. He shook his head.

“I’m not a girl, please Flake believe me I’m not a girl,” Paul was now panicking. He knew it wasn’t going to be good. Flake was confused.

“But you’ve got… Boobs…” He really didn’t understand. Paul had to explain him.

“I’m transgender. I was born… A girl… But I’m a boy,” he said. Flake gasped.

“Oh I know that term,” His eyes widened, “Oh… I get it,” he sat up and Paul was shaking like a leaf.

“W-Where are you going?” He asked. He was so scared. Flake came back with a cream tube.

“I’m going to take care of you. How long have you been wearing these things?” He pointed the bandages as he sat next to Paul.

“Um… Since this morning, when I woke up,” Paul admitted and Flake gasped.

“Oh my God it’s too long. No wonder why it hurts like Hell. It’s going to hurt, but you’ll be better after okay? And don’t even think about putting these on again, it’s killing you,” Flake was serious as he talk. He put cream on Paul’s back; it hurt, but it was for the better. Paul stayed silent, not wanting to say anything wrong, since Flake was really tensed up, “Here you go, just put on your t-shirt and you’ll be good, alright?” Flake said in a gentle voice before leaving the bedroom to wash his hand from the cream. Paul obeyed Flake and put his t-shirt on. It was less hurting already, Flake was really a magician. He didn’t seem to hate him, so it was a good beginning. Flake came back with t-shirt on and sat next to Paul, putting the covers onto themselves. They stayed silent, until Paul sniffed.

“Aren’t you disgusted by me?” Paul asked, wiping his eyes. Flake looked at him sadly and shook his head.

“Of course not, you’re still the same Paulchen to me,” he answered, kissing Paul’s cheek. Paul smiled slightly through his tears.

“But I have boobs and… I don’t have a dick…” He said and Flake shrugged.

“I don’t give a fuck, I love you for you, not for you body,” the younger boy kissed Paul’s lips this time.

“Thank you so much… Please don’t tell anyone…” He begged, looking at Flake.

“Don’t worry about that, I won’t tell a soul. Now get some rest, you’re exhausted, and your chest is too,” the keyboardist pulled Paul closer, cuddling him and stroking his hair.

“Thank you so much Flake,” he said as he closed his eyes, “I love you so much,” he added.

“I love you too Paulchen, so much,” Flake answered. He didn’t care about Paul’s body; he just wanted him to be fine. He knew seeing the others naked could trigger his dysphoria, the younger boy was okay with that, he had put something on for his sake. He would find something for his boyfriend to bind his chest without hurting too much. He was determinate to make Paul happy and fine with himself. He yawned, tiredness filling him. He rested his head on Paul’s, who was already sleeping like a baby, and fell asleep, happy that they solved this problem.


End file.
